The psychological effect of being sent to Boarding School has only recently begun to be recognised by psychologists, primarily through the pioneering work of Nick Duffell and his Boarding School Survivors network. THis cultural blind spot has left many ex-boarders struggling with the emotional after effects of what happened to them at school without it being recognised by partners, or health professionals.

The childhood and adolescent experience of Boarding School is now known to have a significant impact on how an ex-Boarder responds to family relationships, friendships and work environments for the rest of their life.

The behavioural effects have become known as Boarding School Syndrome, following the publication of the book of that name by psychologist Joy Schaverien in 2015.

The ex-Boarder is often unaware of the significance of their childhood experience, particularly its effect on relationships where some degree of emotional intimacy and fluency is expected. As a result it's often the partners of ex-Boarders who first raise issues around family relationships and intimacy.

TA therapy is ideal for ex-Boarding School Pupils, particularly those who are unsure of whether therapy could be of any benefit to them. This is because the early phases of TA psychotherapy for ex-Boarders is similar to personal development coaching, and uses techniques ex-Boarders may already be familiar with from the world of business. The approach is direct, logical and driven by outcomes, aiming to enhance communication and relational skills and develop the ability to look at interpersonal issues from different angles. The benefits are applicable in work, family and intimate relationships. 

Psychology is also beginning to recognise that issues arising from Boarding School get transmitted down the generations even if subsequent generations don't attend boarding school. This means that ex-Boarders who increase their awareness of how their own boarding school past has affected them also help their children and grandchildren.

I have specialised in counselling ex-boarders since 2018. My experience caring for my father, who attended boarding school from the age of 5, gave me insight into its long term effects and also how these effects can travel down the generations.

If you would like more information about counselling for ex-boarders or wish to arrange an introductory session, please click here to contact me.